2 lessons about happiness that completely changed my mindset

2 lessons about happiness that completely changed my mindset2 lessons about happiness that completely changed my mindsetRecently, Ive had two eye-opening realizations about life. Spoiler alert Theyre actually notlage all that groundbreaking. But theyve helped me feel happier when things arent going as planned, and I can almost guarantee theyll do the same for you.Truth 1 Everyone, at any given time, is feeling sad, stressed, or bummed out aboutsomethingNo ones life is as perfect as it seems. Now, this might seem incredibly obvious. But with our highly filtered social media feeds, its easy to think that everyones real lives are just as happy and sunny as their Instagrams filled with sunsets, smoothie bowls, and dinners with friends.Whether its a major obstacle - a sick loved one, a failed marriage - or a more minor setback - a delayed flight, fallout with a friend, pressure from their boss - every single part you know is dealing with some situation thats sorta shitty.I dont mean t o be a bummer I just want us to get real for a second. BecauseIm completely guilty of it too.I pretty much only deutsche post dhl photos of vacations, fun workouts, gorgeous dinners, or career achievements.I dont post about the times when my anxiety makes me stay in bed all day on a Sunday, or when I wonder what the hell Im doing with my life, or why Im not as successful or happy as others seem to be. As my mom reminded me once, if someone looked at my life on social media feeds, theyd be impressed, and maybe even a little bit jealous.Another example I was recently talking to an old friend about her new relationship. She now lives halfway across the world in Australia, so clearly I dont know too many details about her life. All I know is that she and her boyfriend always look incredibly joyful on social media (as most do). In fact, she is happier than ever with her new partner. But she reminded that even being in a relationship isnt always easy. It takes effort, it takes personal de velopment work, it takes check-ins with each other. They fight. They go through hard times. Its not all sunshine and cozy Sunday-night dinners, although thats what we see on Instagram.Point being, people arent always 100% happy. And if youre going through something difficult, youre far from alone.Now for the tough love.Truth 2 Feeling sorry for yourself isnt going to help you feel happierDont get me wrong- I fully believe its okay to not be okay. Its okay to feel anxious or depressed. Its okay to be angry or disappointed in someone. We live in a time when mental health is being talked about more openly, and thats amazing. Talk about how you feel. Go see a therapist if you want. Allow yourself to feel bad.In fact, one way to get happier is to acknowledge your negative thoughts, rather than try to stop them. As this excellent New York Times article puts it, own your worries.When you are stuck in a negative cycle, acknowledge it. Think to yourself Im worrying about work, or Im obsessin g about my ex. Then, challenge those thoughts, or rewrite them. Instead of thinking, Im a failure, think instead Ive had a setback at work, but Im going to learn from it and move in. (Yep, this is a simplistic description of what it means to practice mindfulness, that happiness buzzword you see everywhere.)Dwelling on the past and ruminating over what happened - what that person did wrong, what you did wrong - keeps you parked there, in the past. And continuing to focus narrowly in on yourself, your fears, your worries isnt the way to help yourself feel better.So heres another game-changing way to stop feeling sorry for yourself Take the focus away from yourself, and put it on bringing value to others. Isnt that what the world needs more of, rather than rumination and negative thinking?I dont mean you have to go sign up for the Peace Corps or even have a steady volunteer gig. (Although you should if you have the time) But here are a few little to help others, and in effect, help y ourself, feel better.Talk to a stranger. Strike up a conversation with someone after your yoga class, at the grocery store, or in the coffee shop. Theres literally no drawback, and major potential upsides.Write. Some research suggests that writing in a journal for 15 minutes a day can lead to a boost in overall happiness and well-being. Then, share it If youre reading this, you probably know how great it feels to know someone else is going through the same stuff you are.Provide something to someone in need. Offer a protein bar or a bottle of water to a homeless person. Donate clothes or bedding to Goodwill. Give your sister that shirt shed always steal from you.Send a long email to an old friend. Fill them in on your life, and ask about theirs.Call your grandparents. Or your parents. Thank them for everything they do for you. If youre lucky enough to live nearby, go see them in person.Obviously, these ideas arent guaranteed to make you jump with joy, and some issues run much deeper than quick fixes. But take it from me They might just make those tough times a little easier, which is all we can really want, right?This article was originally published on ThriveGlobal.com.